What I gave up for Lent

It started out as this little irritating thought when I was considering my Lenten fast. Traditional fish on Friday—not a biggie. Since this would be new for my children, it would be a homeschooler’s study in how we would be living as Catholics. Fasting on Friday for me was not new. A story to tell in a different post, but it seemed like a good time to take the practice back up. Chocolate would not make me sit up and take notice, even though I like chocolate, it is not a focal point of my day, even though I joke about it a lot.

I looked to the Orthodox practices for Great Lent—and I have a ways to go before I reach the Orthodox fasting. But I did give up wine, although in all honesty, my blood pressure and blood sugar were telling me to do so as much as my conscience.

Spending money—I decided to give up going to Hobby Lobby for “just one little thing I need.” My crafting had stalled out so this didn’t start out as too difficult.

Books. Oh my. Half Price Bookstore and I have a love affair. They love my money and I love cheap, very cheap books. “It’s only a dollar.” “What is fifty cents?” “After all I don’t go to Starbucks or shop for clothes at the mall. My trips to Barnes and Noble are for gifts and…” well you get the idea. So that one hurt. As it needed to.

But there was something else I needed to give up. Surely not my blog. Maybe just the amount of time I spent on it. (I was really growing very dependant on it, but NOT addicted!) Maybe I would just use the computer between this and that time. Maybe I would set a timer. Surely God, you’ve not asked me to give up my blog? The one where I post pieces of Scripture and hymns. Where I connect with like-minded moms? Where I can share my grown-up thoughts and hopefully encourage others. Surely You don’t want me to set THAT down? Surely…???

I blogged through Ash Wednesday and then went out of town. Where I had little time for internet connections. And I realized the umbilical cord needed to be cut.

When I came home I knew I truly needed to take a break. It wasn’t so much a break from reading other’s blogs, I was getting very busy saying too much on my blog. I was blogging in my head, even when I wasn’t at the computer. I wasn’t blogging my faith journey. Just some things that sounded good. There’s been no creativity or crafting going on here either—not blaming the blog, but it wasn’t helping.

I was concerned just dropping off the internet might be misconstrued, there are some wonderful people I’ve met. But I didn’t want to advertise what I was doing since we were talking about Lent. (It doesn’t count journaling here because no one is reading—at least for now.) So if someone was truly concerned for me (and a few have been) I had to leave a way to reach me so in my comments it reads, “After a lot of prayer and conviction, I will be taking a break from the Joyful Days blog for a short time. I will still be visiting blogs, but perhaps not commenting as often. Know I will be continuing to offer prayers for requests. I am still reachable through my e-mail. Always in Him, Julie” But my fast really needed to affect me.

And it has. I’ve gotten up in the mornings and read a few blogs, mostly checking on a very sick little girl. Checking on some women I’ve come to admire here and there. Bawling my eyes out because I am so stinking spoiled. And then reading the Gospels with a, hopefully, clearer view.

My children will be accepted into the Church on Easter Vigil, in a manner called “Restored Order.” They will be baptized, confirmed and receive their First Communion all in one service. Their sacrament of First Confession will happen before I am sure. So that has been my focus these last few days.

I’m missing posting over there…but I think this is doable.

Let’s see how it continues for the next 36 days

~ by throughadarkglass on February 16, 2008.