The meaning-seeking and unconventional type. They are especially attuned to making sure their beliefs and actions are congruent. They often develop a passion for the arts or unusal forms of self-expression.
They enjoy work that are aligned to their deeply feelt values and tend to strongly dislike the more practical and mundande forms of tasks. They can enjoy working alone for long periods of time and are happiest when they can immerse themselves in personally meaningful projects.
I did this for all of my blogs. This one is more like me than the others. But they all are true.
My aunt, my father’s sister died. The sadness of that statement is magnified by the fact that she was a Jeh0vah’s W1tness. (Sorry for the spelling don’t want trolls or bots.) The venom that churned in my heart when I learned she only had a short time to live caught me off guard. I thought I had put all of that behind me.
Why did such caustic and sinful thoughts attach themselves to thoughts of her—a woman who truly was a good person, who always was pleasant and cheerful, fun and full of life? She was a lovely lady, so why was I in such emotional pain trying to decide what the “right” thing to do—visit before she died, wait for a funeral, nothing…—why was I tormenting myself with this?
The long family history, buried deep in the skeleton closet came up to the front. The religion, the “god” my aunt, grandmother, grandfather, and other aunts and uncles had chosen caused much upheaval, much bitterness in my growing up years. My father had left their church and joined my mother’s and as the years progressed they never visited our house, although at times we were “allowed” to visit theirs. Then there were times we weren’t allowed to visit. There was the time they showed up to help us move. But disappeared again shortly after.
Stress over religion is a leading cause for marital problems and I know the belief issue caused stress for my parents. It caused confusion and hurt for me. I cried more than once when JWs would show up at our door—either by chance or purposefully looking for my father. Later they would follow me a bit. I thought I came to terms with them in my heart about seven years ago during my “desert years.” I thought we could agree to disagree. The more I studied, the more confident I became in our discourses.
But with my aunt’s illness and passing I wondered at the thought some had that I would rush to say “Goodbye” to a woman, who although I knew to be sweet, chose to be absent from 95% of my life. Where was she or any of the other members of my estranged family when I was married? When my children were born? When my mother was dying? Actually I have to be honest and say my aunt did visit my mother once, their history was deeper than hers and mine. And I am grateful she did make the visit, but it really wasn’t for me, but my dad.
It’s odd; I told my sister had this happened two years ago I could have let it go without concern. I “respected” their beliefs even if I disagreed vehemently. They never sought us out so I could have let them be. But as a prodigal Catholic I felt more strongly that I should display more love. Protestants are better at boundaries, I think. The boys and I have been talking about, learning more about the Corporeal Works of Mercy and the Spiritual Works of Mercy and because of this I felt more obligated to “do something.”
I offered it to God, asking for clarity in choosing, asking that if I were to go to visit my family it would be clear when and how. In the end my aunt died more quickly than anyone expected. My father didn’t make it to see her. She chose to be cremated and wanted no service. There was a gathering which we were not told details of so the decision was made for me.
My old scars have surfaced again and are open. I’ve been humbled at just how sinful I really am by my angry reactions. My prayer is for compassion and healing.
You, LORD, are our father,
our redeemer you are named forever.
Why do you let us wander, O LORD, from your ways,
and harden our hearts so that we fear you not?
Return for the sake of your servants,
the tribes of your heritage.
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down,
with the mountains quaking before you,
while you wrought awesome deeds we could not hope for,
such as they had not heard of from of old.
No ear has ever heard, no eye ever seen, any God but you
doing such deeds for those who wait for him.
Would that you might meet us doing right,
that we were mindful of you in our ways!
Behold, you are angry, and we are sinful;
all of us have become like unclean people,
all our good deeds are like polluted rags;
we have all withered like leaves,
and our guilt carries us away like the wind.
There is none who calls upon your name,
who rouses himself to cling to you;
for you have hidden your face from us
and have delivered us up to our guilt.
Yet, O LORD, you are our father;
we are the clay and you the potter:
we are all the work of your hands.
My first thought when I woke this morning was, “God have mercy on us. I know YOU are still on the throne.” Now you need to know I went to bed last night at nine, not having turned on a television or looking at a news article since Sunday. I was feeling physically ill. It was just palpable. (Call me weird, it’s okay. My husband calls me “spooky.”)
My second thought is that I personally have not prayed enough. Not that my prayer changes the balance, but my prayer combined with other faithful, can.
The next thought is that I cannot afford to be complacent. I must pray every day for this country. And I am going to go one further and pray for the conversion of the self-proclaimed “One” to Catholicism. I wonder how his first meeting with our beloved Benedict will go. George W. had such grace in meeting with our Pope. His Holiness really seemed to give W. a special audience in Rome. And that made me happy because I still like this president we have for a few more weeks. He is a good man for all the baggage associated with his terms. I will keep praying for him too.
This election was an emotionally and physically upsetting one for me. My blood pressure soared when I started thinking too much about the new chosen one. I had nightmares about this scenario. I was just too stressed. I’m praying for myself that I can refocus on what is true and what is real and do the work that I was put here to do. No more shirking.
My son came out of his PSR class Monday night shaking. His teacher spent almost the whole class explaining the virtues of the 0bam@nation to him. Our bishop had very clearly stated that we as Catholics could not be voting for pro-abortion candidates. She in her much more infinite wisdom decided that she knew better. Oh how the irony smacks me in the face. I left the Catholic Church thinking I had more answers. I returned, humbled and grieving, more Pro-Life than ever. Now my child was hurt by those who believed as I had. I will be a long time in repairing that damage.
So we march on. We pray. We never, never forget our GOD is in control.
But my friends…
This is the end of the world as we know it.
LORD have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
LORD have mercy.
Just a while ago I read three articles. One said Catholics are reading their Bible more. One said most Catholics are not aware that there is a body of teaching on social issues from the Catholic Church. The last article by a Catholic lay-person made fun of a Protestant pastor’s view that we are seeing the Old Testament played out in current events.
Nothing bugs me more than Protestants telling me Catholics (and therefore I) don’t read the Bible. Guess what? I do, although I used to do it better than I do now. Other Catholics read it constantly and use it to live by. Other Catholics don’t read it, true. But guess what again? Some Protestants don’t read the Bible. Some do. Some are better at it than others. If you are one of the non-Bible reading group (and I would hazard a guess you would be in the majority) you would consistently have the opportunity to hear more Scripture, both Old and New Testament at church if you went to a Catholic Mass. You’d have to sit up and actually, you know, listen and participate—but more Scripture is shared in one Mass that in months of most Protestant services.
These last two years I have heard repeatedly how uneducated Catholics are and that caused a great falling away of members of the Church. I’ve argued that it is more pride, more feeling one knows best or that surely the Church cannot tell someone what to do, versus poor teaching. The other reason I’ve felt many Catholics left the Church is out of laziness. The “I don’t wanna…” mentality. I don’t feel like getting up, I don’t feel like sitting there, it is boring, liturgy is not my thing. I for one, feel I received a fairly good Catholic education, was surrounded by good and active Catholics and chose to live a life of sin out of selfishness and pride. And laziness—it’s a lot of work to choose the good choice and so very easy to choose a sinfull choice.
But I’m starting to change my opinion about the untaught angle.
I’m starting to change my opinion because I am seeing arrogant Catholics mock Protestants the way I feel many Protestants mock Catholics, out of ignorance. Protestants that have never seriously considered the Catholic Church and not really looked at history have a very one dimensional, flat and very distorted view of what and who the Church is. But the converse is true and it is likely the reason when I left the Catholic Church the second time I joined a Protestant denomination. I wasn’t dissatisfied with God at that time; I just still didn’t want anyone to tell me what to do. I didn’t have a good view of history. I remember the audacity of my statement after finishing a course on the core beliefs of the denomination I chose. I said, “I finally found a church that lined up with my beliefs.” Whoa, Nellie!! How is that for making it all about me and not all about God? What arrogance!
But the same was true when I was a Catholic growing up. My knowledge of mainline Protestantism (won’t even start to go into the diverse branches) was flat and one dimensional. I see that today in people who are considered leaders in the Catholic Church. Most often they are lay people, but I have heard nuns and priests share ideas that are dismissive and even insulting about Protestant beliefs.
I think (and this is where it gets shaky—that word “I”) that to dismiss someone’s beliefs without knowing more about a subject is dangerous. To say “That is not what the Church teaches.” if it is true, is one thing. To laugh at something just because it is not something you’ve personally ever considered is another thing. And sadly that is more what I’ve seen on each side of the fence.
From a personal position, I read the Bible more, and more consistently as a Protestant. But, and this is huge, I knew most of it because I had heard it for years and years, read out loud at Mass. It was inscribed on my heart. While I might not have been able to pull out chapter and verse at will it was there and when I read it for myself I could only say, “Oh! I know this already.”
I think most Protestants and Catholics don’t have a good grasp on Christian history, and those that have studied history have an “American” perspective. It’s not hard to believe that is the only perspective. It is what is taught in public schools and on network television. When one can realize that history can be taught from several perspective—and that each one is biased then a true understanding can be the goal.
If ecumenism is a goal for people both Protestant and Catholic a good start would be a few more lessons in history from a few more perspectives. But more importantly, a little humility and being a little slower to be dismissive before considering someone else’s point would be huge in united Christians.
O God, we acknowledge you today as Lord,
Not only of individuals, but of nations and governments.
We thank you for the privilege
Of being able to organize ourselves politically
And of knowing that political loyalty
Does not have to mean disloyalty to you.
We thank you for your law,
Which our Founding Fathers acknowledged
And recognized as higher than any human law.
We thank you for the opportunity that this election year puts before us,
To exercise our solemn duty not only to vote,
But to influence countless others to vote,
And to vote correctly.
Lord, we pray that your people may be awakened.
Let them realize that while politics is not their salvation,
Their response to you requires that they be politically active.
Awaken your people to know that they are not called to be a sect fleeing the world
But rather a community of faith renewing the world.
Awaken them that the same hands lifted up to you in prayer
Are the hands that pull the lever in the voting booth;
That the same eyes that read your Word
Are the eyes that read the names on the ballot,
And that they do not cease to be Christians
When they enter the voting booth.
Awaken your people to a commitment to justice
To the sanctity of marriage and the family,
To the dignity of each individual human life,
And to the truth that human rights begin when human lives begin,
And not one moment later.
Lord, we rejoice today
That we are citizens of your kingdom.
May that make us all the more committed
To being faithful citizens on earth.
Pilate may have been the governor, but Jesus was not a community organizer. And Obama is NOT Jesus. Jesus was THE Messiah, THE One the prophecies foretold.
And I am extremely offended at the suggestion of any likeness between Jesus and Obama. Judas Iscariot and Obama. I can see that.
I have no need of a new savior. I have no need of a new Hitler, Napoleon, or Mao either. They’ve come and gone and left devastation in their wake. Why would anyone want that here?
I have no need of a man who worries about the opinion of other countries before the opinion of this country. I have no need of a man who believes the needs of abortions are more important than the babies they murder, than the babies he sees as inconveniences and punishments.
You could put lipstick on him, but he’d still be…well I promised myself I would quit stooping to his level and the level of the MSM, so I can’t say it.
Oh!! Yes, I can! If you put lipstick on Obama, then you’d have Oprah!
INFP – The Idealists